Do you lay in bed next to your significant other feeling alone – worried that you’ve lost your connection to each other forever?
Have you already sought help through self-help books, websites or even professionals, but still feel as if nothing helps? Does it seem as though you are still:
- Anxious about being a “good match?”
- Lonely in your relationship?
- Frustrated about having the same fight(s) over and over again?
- Hopeless about regaining connection and intimacy with your partner?
- Disappointed with a stale sex life?
- Scared that your partner will see the “real you” and reject you?
- Worried that you’ve grown too far apart to ever come back together as a loving couple?
- Hurting as a result of conflict, an affair or sex addiction?
I can help!
Couples therapy is a great place to explore your concerns in order to create a more fulfilling, accepting, and authentic relationship, but some forms of couples therapy work better than others. Through the use of systems-based therapy, which views your relationship as an interactive system where you both affect one another, you will learn how to improve your own self in order to improve the overall system or relationship. Systems-based therapy views each person involved in the relationship as a cog or component that helps to keep the machine of the relationship running smoothly and going strong. By working on improving and maintaining yourself, you can do much to improve and maintain the relationship.
Some common benefits of systems-based couples counseling include:
- Increased respect and appreciation of one another
- Revitalized sexual desire and satisfaction with your partner
- Improved communication
- Deeper understanding of your partner’s world
- Strengthened connection
- Healing and forgiveness after an affair
- Increased quality time to share interests, activities and joy
- Better tools for resolving relational conflicts
- Ability to maintain improvements in your relationship
You are not alone…
While I believe that each couple (or other relational configuration) is unique, I also believe that we must remember that all relationships are tested from time to time. There are many developmental “bumps” that can throw a previously happy couple “off track” and leave them in need of support. Examples of these “bumps” include: deciding to become more committed, moving in together, the birth/adoption of a child, being parents of a teenager, changes in sexual desire, disclosure of an affair or the “coming out” of some other sexual preference or behavior.
You are not the only person to go through this challenge you’re experiencing…
Relationship counseling offers you a place to process these kinds of life changes, allowing you to express your concerns while maintaining emotional safety. As your therapist, it’s my job to create a safe space that allows for emotional expression from both/all partners while guiding the communication in a way that helps both/all partners hear messages from each other with less defensiveness and increased empathy.
It IS possible to make your relationship better than it is today!
Therapy is too expensive, I’m sure we can just figure this out on our own.
We have many “things” in our lives… cars, skis, homes… all these things cost money, and we pay for them because we believe they make our lives better. Therapy is no different. Making an investment in your mental well being or the well being of your relationship is just as important, if not more important than what sort of car you buy or house you live in – we’re talking about your health. You deserve to find your happiness, don’t sell yourself short.
Sounds good, but I don’t have time to work therapy into my busy schedule.
Who amongst us isn’t “busy?” We have so many things “filling” our lives, from work to friends to smartphones… Let me ask you these questions: Do you have time for a traumatic break-up? Do you have time to only see your children every other holiday? Do you have time to decide who’ll get to keep the dog? We so often skip “preventative maintenance” or “minor repairs,” and later we end up having to go through “major repairs” or “complete overhauls.” And every time, we wish we’d taken the time to fix things when the problems were small…don’t wait until your issue or concern is larger than it needs to be.
If I go to therapy, I’m admitting that I’m somehow “screwed up.”
Let’s face it… we all have our own “issues.” They say that the first step to making life better is admitting there’s something you want to improve. None of us are “screwed up.” We’re just all different – if you’re happy as you are, more power to you! However, if you’re not happy with your life as it is, and you want to make some changes, it’ll never happen if you don’t take the first step. True courage is being strong enough to admit you don’t have all the answers…
Why Jen Meyer, LPC, LMFT, CST?
I offer structured, solution-focused couples and sex counseling to those who are looking to heal, deepen or expand upon their relationship. Unlike other therapists who allow their clients to come in each week and fight while they (the therapists) observe, my style of therapy gets to the heart of your problems and concerns, breaking the cycles that have caused damage in the past. My clients describe me as being, not only knowledgeable, but also warm, empathic, open and non-judgmental. I provide a safe and accepting environment for discussing and processing relationship issues regardless of sexual, gender, cultural or spiritual orientation. Together, we will work collaboratively to address your specific concerns and goals for your therapy.
What if I’m not sure what to do next?
I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation, which will give you the chance to see if we might be a good fit. If not, I’ll happily refer you to another therapist who you might feel more comfortable with. Please e-mail me to arrange a time for us to talk.
It’s never too late to take the first step. If you want to make your relationship better, if you want to break the cycles that have done so much damage in the past, if you want to have fun with your partner(s) instead of fighting… change IS possible.
To learn more about my practice and how I can help you, please continue to check out my website. If you have further questions, you can either e-mail me at [email protected] or click the “Contact Me” link on my site and inquire. E-mail is the best way to reach me.